Newsletter

"Minimizing Stress Over the Holidays"
Copyright 2000, ©Dr. Connie Sitterly, all rights reserved

As we approach the holidays, we are reminded of our 2000 goals to be completed.... in 2001? As we embark to accomplish all tasks, projects and goals not previously completed in the prior eleven months, in under three weeks; i.e., December 2000 to January 2001, let us refresh our knowledge of how to prevent our accumulating personal and workplace stress.

To your workplace frenzy, add holiday shopping, including but not limited to, traffic, hot, crowded malls, sale items scanned at the regular price, the subsequent returns, charging - (what budget?) enough crap to require payment plan until 2002, fast food served by annoyed, temporary employees wearing Santa caps, lost receipts,
and you get (a) 12 days of Christmas (b) stress (c) (d) a massage gift certificate for Christmas. Answers may vary, but stress for sure.

Arranging, or even discussing, how to be at two or more families simultaneously, or getting anyone to return a business call, make a decision, or learn a new thing before the first of the year, should up the stress ante.
Even Santa has end of the year reports, overworked Elves, and at least one Reindeer in need of a flu shot. Not to mention Mrs. Claus, home alone again, while Mr. Claus stays out all night, flies the entire globe, returning exhausted, dirty, on a sugar high after a zillion little cookies, not on his diet. Everybody has stress, just more of it now, this most joyful of all seasons.

If you're working harder, feeling pressured by end of the year goals, multiple projects, meetings and teams, review a few new techniques to manage stress for a more balanced life and holiday. If you like what you read, you can buy my new (January 2001) Nuggetbook™ in electronic format. Simply download to your computer!, Act Now or Pay Later: 262 Choices to Prevent Stress, Save Lives, Health, Relationships and Money, 44 pages, $8.95. Reserve your copy today!!! 2conz@charter.net

'We' -companies; i.e., managers, create much of the stress, and sometimes even glamorize it, unclear direction, poor planning and insufficient training, resources, and a few nameless authoritarian managers, then pay billions in claims and losses from it. Stress destroys morale, quality, customer relations, teamwork, productivity, and creativity. It fuels accidents, injuries, turnover, conflicts, absenteeism and grievances. It erodes the spirit and health. It is imperative that we understand how we create and carry stress and learn new ways to achieve goals without unnecessarily eroding lives, health, relationships, or profits.

While Elves' never seem to be too stressed, for most U.S. employees, work is our primary source of stress. Almost half of U.S. workers characterize their jobs as highly stressful, and one-third believe it bad enough to quit.

Stress is a condition of strain on one's emotions, thought processes or physical condition. Stress is not so much the situation as it is our reaction to the situation. In other words, most of the negative impact associated with stress comes from our negative reaction to the perceived threat rather than the stress itself, according to how we see the situation.

"A cow-chip is a banquet to a fly."

So, remember, when shopping this season at the mall, and a purse snatcher grabs and runs with your purse as you approach your car, it's your reaction to the stress, not the loss of your entire identity and financial transactions. Besides, two people would view the situation entirely differently, according to their propensity to handle stress.

"Reality is something you rise above."
Liza Minnelli, actress and singer

Stressors are anything real or imagined that cause stress. and can be external such as traffic or overtime, or internal, such as striving for perfection or a promotion.

Multiple commitments, teams and meetings, understaffed, unclear direction, strategic, operational, technological, and cultural changes, mergers, reorganizations, relocations, too much work and not enough play are a few stressors which can ultimately damage relationships and health.

Although stress is a daily part of our lives, especially during the holidays, it is usually expressed in negative terms, although it is not inherently bad. A wedding, promotion, Christmas, New Years or graduation can be as stressful as a transfer, layoff, or conflicting deadlines.

Many diseases, such as ulcers, heart disease and high blood pressure stem from poor stress management. Stress related problems are estimated to cause half of all premature deaths in the U.S. Women tend to become more withdrawn or depressed, while men are more likely to become irritable, aggressive, or develop addictions. Holidays bring expectations, disappointments and, sometimes loneliness, as parents face custody, personal and financial challenges.

Stress can be a powerful creative force which can improve your life or it can be a negative obsession which constantly blocks your future. In fact, a certain amount of stress may actually help us achieve our goals. Think how much you'll get done, fueled by positive stress, with bursts of energy and excitement between now and "Auld Lang Syne."

"Leaders make mistakes when they're too tired and overwhelmed with paper."
James Callaghan, English Prime Minister

Common signs of stress include:
· Irritability
· Short attention span or boredom
· Inability to cope with routine problems
· Anxiety about money
· Suppressed anger
· Loss of sense of humor
· Changes in eating, sleeping, exercise, drinking or smoking habits

Causes of Stress at Work:
· Delays in processing, making decisions or responding to suggestions or requests
· Inability to prioritize, organize, delegate, manage time
· Lack of training, incentives, resources. support, expectations, or directions
· Poor communication or cultural barriers
· Autocratic managers or difficult employees
· Changes, politics, red tape
· Feeling undervalued or powerless

Assess Yourself:
Check each of the following characteristics that apply to you:
· assume more tasks than can be completed at once?
· avoid expressing true opinions or feelings or confronting problems?
· vent anger and frustration on those closest to you?
· suppress problems, then explode?
· avoid delegating?
· feel lack "people skills"?
· co-workers think that you're stressful to work or deal with?
· feel lack control over workload, career, job status?
· reluctant to admit overloaded?
· procrastinate or complete tasks without prioritizing?
· feel guilty if you do nothing for more than an hour?
· respond negatively to criticism, advice or feedback?

What are at least three specific, personally appropriate corrective actions?

Points to Ponder
o How do you typically react under stress?
o Do you show any other signs of stress?
o Select your top three signs from the list above or add a few if necessary.

Are you a Type A or Type B?

If you answered yes to five or more of these questions, you may be type A-oriented.

Place an "X" by the point on the plot where you think you are and a circle by the point where you would like to be.

\|_____\|_____\|_____\|_____\|_____\|
A				B

"The trouble with Archie is, he don't know how to worry without getting upset."
Edith Bunker, Television sitcom character, 1970's, All in the Family

We experience upward, downward... 360 degree... pressures from managers, employees, co-workers, and teams at work which produce stress. Downward pressure comes from top managers or coaches. Upward pressure may come from other employees or team leaders. For example:

Downward pressure
· Unrealistic deadlines
· Insufficient resources, assistance, support or commitment
· Dead-end job with little chance of promotion
· Politics, uneven workload distribution, or favoritism

Upward pressure
· Incompetent or inadequately trained employees
· Low morale or pervasive negative attitudes
· Undependable employees
· Personality conflicts
· Overly ambitious or aggressive employees

360 degree- lateral pressure
· Team members or co-workers with needs or requests
· Conflict of interests or different priorities
· Lack of response or cooperation

When you observe a co-worker that works in chaos or clutter as a norm, such as misplaced files, unanswered messages or stacked in-box, consider talking with them about their stress, difficulties, or workload. Help them help themselves by listening and supporting, providing frequent feedback, involving them in decisions, openly discussing and confronting problems, providing clear directions, responsibilities and expectations, following up their agreements, or helping them find the help they need- training, counseling, medical, or other.

The Workaholic
A reaction to on-the-job stress is the workaholic syndrome, the psychological, emotional, physical, spiritual exhaustion resulting from prolonged negative stress. Obsessive, intense, energetic, the workaholic prefers work to leisure, and can and will work anywhere, at anytime. Most workaholics are Type A driven personalities.

Burnout
Workaholics blur distinction between work and pleasure. While extra hours are appropriate for short periods of time, working too many long hours can be detrimental and may lead to burnout, an extreme reaction to stress ultimately characterized by lack of interest and feelings of worthlessness. When burned out, you may not care as intently about work, relationships, and/or activities which once interested you. Personal and family life invariably suffer as more time is invested in work than in sustaining relationships.

Tips for Managing Stress- in Time for the Holidays

1. Modify your diet to eliminate caffeine, alcohol and refined sugar. Rethink the eggnog and that one fruitcake that has been passed along since the beginning of time. Step away from the fudge.

2. Exercise 2 to 3 times a week for at least 30 minutes. Try working out or a walk or jog at lunch. Christmas shopping doesn't count, even if it's for new exercise equipment.

3. Develop a support system. Talk to friends or family about your problems and/or seek out members of your clergy or counseling services. Let those feelings flow through. Reminder: the holidays can be one of the most emotional times of the year, with expectations that resemble Hallmark more than reality.

4. Decide what is important according to your own values, needs, priorities and preferences. Pray. Meditate. Repeat as needed.

5. Give and ask for support or assistance or delegate, at work and at home. Volunteer- children's or retirement homes, serve those in need. Donating time and spirit are gifts that keep on giving.

6. Plan personal, private time as conscientiously as you would your workday. Look at your calendar - what do you see?

7. Take more, frequent, shorter vacations. Add a day or two to recover from the 'vacation' or the meal it took two days to prepare and a record time of 28 minutes to eat.

8. Unless you've had great success with the psychic channels, share your feelings and ask for what you want, need or expect. If you can't afford requested expensive presents, find old photo, make or build something, give "love" coupons, draw names, get creative. Stuff a turkey, not your feelings. No martyrs, no passive aggressive, 'read my mind... you should know.' Play fair.

9. Share your suggestions formally and informally. If no response, repeat or tell someone with the authority.

10. Acquire the training needed to address symptoms and the cause- stress, change, diversity, multiple priorities, organization, interpersonal skills, delegation, conflict resolution, etc. No excuses. You are your best investment.

11. Value contributions with rewards, promotions, and incentives. 'Tis the season to say thanks, and begin that 2001 gratitude journal. Remember the printer, postal person, yard and cleaning staff.

12. Promote wellness and stress awareness through training, facilities, and communication. In-house flu shots, programs to help staff stop smoking or drinking, flextime, cafeterias and vending machines that offer healthy alternatives are only a few. Ask your employees. If you had a copy of Act Now Pay Later, you'd have 262 more choices!

"Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."
Victor Borge, comic pianist

Lighten Up

The ability to use humor appropriately and tastefully may not come naturally for everyone, but it can be developed. Taking yourself too seriously can be hazardous to your health, friends, family and your career. Humor, now considered a career asset, can heal, disarm, bond, and build goodwill. Learning to laugh at yourself and situations can enable you to take greater risks, gain proper perspective, and enrich relationships. Just as other people's stress can be infectious, so can laughter.

©2001 Sittcom, Inc.
Sittcom, Inc.
P.O. Box 470695
Fort Worth, TX 76147
817 737-2893 Fax 817 737-7517
e-mail: president@sittcom.com